Passports and Pincushions

There is a necessary trial that every internationally bound traveller must endure at some point, a trial that bonds all such travellers with the friendly chains of irritation and bitterness: acquiring a passport.

As neither Glen nor I have – or have ever had – a passport, we went through this tradition a couple of weeks ago. While gearing up for this integral part of our overall travel adventure, we were inundated with a great deal of advice and tips from well meaning family and friends. They warned us about the passport office line-ups, about the lengthy period prior to the passport actually arriving in the mail, and about the fiddly passport application forms that are binned unless filled out with exact compliance to excruciatingly strict rules that govern those documents. Ultimately, we were given the impression that applying for one’s passport is about as invasive, uncomfortable, and interesting as an anal probe.

While the process for passport application will undoubtedly vary from country to country, I imagine that several of the more general, if not the specific, aggravations are reasonably consistent. One must gather several proofs of identity, fill out forms detailing your various goings-on over the past few years, describe nose hair growth, and get a photo that makes you look like a hardened criminal. At the time of this writing, Canadians must also get the signature of a 'guarantor' - an individual of an approved profession who you have known for at least two years – to sign the mug shot and affirm that it is indeed a valid likeness. Obtaining this signature was not terribly difficult for Glen and I, as two of our brother-in-laws are of the approved professions. For people that are not in such a happy situation, getting the signature of a doctor, lawyer, chartered accountant, school principal, or other individual that requires a consultation appointment made over a month in advance is a royal pain in the backside. The reasons for needing to have the signature of someone in an approved profession apparently hearkens back to old class systems and ideas of nobility and trustworthiness (please to not ask me for a source on this one – I truly cannot remember the online resource where I read this tidbit). Happily, the government has recognized that the system is somewhat antiquarian and frankly stupid, and so will be easing the guarantor requirements in October 2007.

There are other ways that the Canadian government is attempting to make the passport application process a little easier is to provide printable online application forms, eliminating the need for a trip to the post office to get pre-printed forms, as well as to provide the option of filling out and submitting your application via the miracle of the internet. Before getting excited about the prospect of avoiding the passport office line-up, however, one must bear in mind that you need to register for the online services, wait a few weeks to get your username and password snail-mailed to your home address, submit original documents such as your birth certificate via standard post, and assuming that the original documents do not get lost in the mail or at the passport office itself (we have heard first-hand horror stories about misplaced birth certificates), wait an additional nine weeks for your passport to be mailed to you. Doing the application in-person requires you to stand in line for a couple of hours, have your documents reviewed by a clerk, be scolded for not filling out a couple of the fields properly, and then wait two weeks for your passport to arrive in the mail. So much for online efficiency.

Following the advice given to us by my parents, Glen and I both took a full day off of work arrived at the passport office at the wee hours of 7:15 am, an hour and fifteen minutes before the office opened. I was expecting to encounter a considerable line-up and was not surprised at the crowd that had already gathered. Glen, on the other hand, was quite shocked at the number of bleary-eyed travellers already standing patiently along the wall. We had some fun conversations with several people in the line, and joked around a lot with a Newfoundlander who needed to pick up his express-delivered passport, a friendly lady who had a gift for conversation, and a really nice guy who sounded like he had moved here from India (I couldn’t accurately place his accent beyond a vague idea of what land mass it was from).

Behind this fellow was a woman who I can only describe as a complete red-neck, the sort that give Albertans a bad name. She looked offended whenever the guy moved to talk to her, would only scoff through her nose at what other people said, and basically behaved in a thoroughly rude fashion. At one point the Indian guy asked Glen and I if we thought it would be okay if he left the line for a minute to grab a coffee, and we assured him that it wouldn’t be a problem. The red-neck woman only gave a curt nod, and once he had left the area, snorted and said something to the effect of being worried that he would shoot her if she said no. I will admit that I was very surprised at hearing that from her, as it is a level of rudeness that I haven’t often encountered. I replied in what I hope was a sufficiently icy tone that I’ve no problem with people wanting to duck out to get a coffee or go to the bathroom, as I hope that other people in line wouldn’t mind it if I did the same. She gave her little nose-snort and goggled at us, not making much of a reply. Eventually the guy came back with his coffee and we carried on the conversation we were having before he left.

Once the passport office opened, the line progressed fairly quickly. It was marshalled by a very small woman with a very strident voice who would march up and down the lines, barking procedural directions at the applicants. Eventually, my ticket was called, and my form was processed very quickly by a chipper and friendly woman. Glen’s form took a little longer, as there was a discrepancy between the home address on Glen’s drivers license and the address on the passport application due to an immanent move. Glen was roundly scolded for holding up the line, had to find me to get a couple of postal codes, was irritated with the unnecessarily brusque manner of the clerk helping him, and was thoroughly annoyed by the time we left the office. However our overall documents were in order, we had the correct signatures, and both our applications were readily accepted in the end. It didn’t take nearly as long as our friends and family foretold and all dire predictions of hassles and hang-ups came to naught.

After our applications were submitted, we headed straight for the University of Alberta’s student health centre for our travel vaccinations. As our approximate date of travel is rapidly approaching and several of these vaccinations require boosters, we needed to get them done pronto. As Glen is still a student at the U of A, we could enjoy the walk-in services that are even faster during summer hours due to the absence of a large number of students. Instead of having to make an appointment, get prescriptions, and then wait hours in a provincial travel health clinic, we waltzed in unannounced, and were seen by a doctor within minutes.

The doctor we saw was quite entertaining, although I doubt it was his intent to amuse me so much. He was very dry in his manner of speech, and frequently punctuated his statements with grumbles about people who don’t vaccinate his children. He went through the necessary checks to determine what sort of immunizations we needed, and then went on to sell us on getting an additional pertussis (a.k.a. whooping cough) vaccination as a "public service" to prevent unintentionally passing the illness on to vulnerable children. After that, we went straight downstairs to the university pharmacy, got our vaccinations at the discounted student rate, went back upstairs and about ten minutes later received our shots. I only needed one, while Glen received two needles. As the pertussis vaccine had to be ordered in, we returned a couple of days later to pick up that prescription and each received another needle.

For the potential traveller or medically curious among you, the immunizations that Glen and I were prescribed were based on travel to Australia, New Zealand, Fiji, the Solomon Islands, and other areas near there. We figured that those areas would cover our bases as far as vaccinations go, as we are defiantly not heading much further abroad than that. The immunizations we received are as follows:
-Hepatitis A
-Hepatitis B (Glen needed this one, but I had already received my full course of immunizations when I started university and so didn’t need to get it again)
-Typhoid
-Diphtheria
-Tetanus
-Pertussis

Glen and I will both need to get Hep A (and Hep B, in his case) boosters in one month, as well as again while in New Zealand. It will be pricier to get it while travelling, but such is the cost of health. I did not get a rubella vaccination as it was included in my Grade 9 boosters, and we were advised to get malaria pills while travelling only if we actually go to an area where malaria is concerned.

A great many countries do not allow you entry without record of proper immunization. Aside from this requirement, I’d rather spend a few hundred bucks ensuring mine and my husband’s health instead of farting and vomiting our way through our vacation. For a full list of current travel health concerns and recommended vaccinations, visit the Public Health Agency of Canada: Travel Health website. The info on the diseases is valid world-wide, but most countries should have their own specific government website that covers the same subject.