The room was reasonably clean and the bed comfortable. The hostel itself is divided into multiple floors, two communal areas on each floor, and each communal area divided into dorms or twin/double rooms. There is an interesting apartment-style communal set up in every room cluster, one kitchen for every 20 or so hostellers, a 24 hour manned reception desk, travel agent, and a bar on the main floor.
And for the frisky, there are two massage parlours and three strip clubs flanking the hostel walls!
Right next door to the hostel is Cleopatra’s (yep, that's the entrance awning to the Nomads Fat Camel hostel in the picture).
Just in case you were mistaken as to the nature of the establishment, Cleopatra’s has kindly placed a sign advertising their services in the front-entrance stairwell:
If Cleopatra’s isn’t exactly what you are looking for and you wanted something with slightly less class, you can go one door over and visit Lipstix. Lipstix has a seedier, naughtier flare than Cleopatra’s. They can’t afford a fancy printed sign in their entrance, so they opted instead for a more budget-friendly chalkboard.
Should you be wanting something a little more – ahem - energetic, just walk to the other side of the hostel. On the other side of the hostel, right beside the hostel’s bar, is The Mermaid Bar (yes, they actually have a website), where there are "enchanting mermaids performing for you nightly."
Once you have piqued your appetite at The Mermaid Bar, you can head next door to The Moon Gentleman’s Bar. On a grocery shopping expedition during our first night in Auckland, we passed by The Moon and found that some kindly nurse had positioned herself right in front of the door. I believe that she was present to help out with any men who may have been experiencing a spike in their blood pressures. I’m surprised that no one offered her a coat, however, as she must have been very chilly in that little uniform. She needed a larger size, as she couldn’t even zip her top fully closed!
After sating one’s thirst for scantily clad nurses at The Moon, you may stagger next door again for our final stop, The H.Q. Club Gentleman’s Retreat. At this point, you should be relatively exhausted from your night on the town, so the upper-class genteelness implied by the exquisite signage and the fact that this is a "gentleman’s retreat" should be something of a comfort.
Truthfully, it seemed that the people coming out of the strip clubs and massage parlours were far less rowdy than the people spilling out of the Fat Camel’s bar. As one of the hostel staff put it, "having whorehouses for neighbours just means that there's that much more security people around." Phew! And I thought that we might be dealing with something serious!
*Note: The free "food" was atrocious. When I say that it was nearly inedible, I mean it; one evening I was actually unable to chew the beef. The chewed-up piece was indistinguishable from the non-chewed pieces. The meals were, in general, drowning in salt and grease containing meat of such low grade that it would gag a goat. Fortunately we were able to get our free portion "supersized" for free, because Peterpans has a deal that you can get your food at the Fat Camel upsized for free upon presentation of the yellow rubber Peterpans bracelet - otherwise it would cost $4. While I would have shrunk away in horror at the idea of even larger portions of that dodgy food, upsizing the meal usually meant that you got some vegetables as a side dish. We ate it because it was free, but I'm still not entirely certain if the indigestion and cramping was worth it.
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